English?

Well I have a date this Saturday with Wendy (HEEHAW!), she came in to see me last night and told me that I was free this Saturday and she'd pick me up at my place and bring me off somewhere.... I just have to be surprised (she won't tell me where she's bringing me) .... I keep thinking about her.

She showed up while I was talking to a customer and he was teaching me Montreal english. I always found it odd that people called the subway a "metro"... I just thought maybe they didn't know the proper english word... I guess that's what happens when someone sees a sign up all the time, they forget the right word and use what they see on a sign. The local smalltime stores that sell chips and pop and milk and stuff are called depp-anne-urrs (say each of these words slowly and then when you can say it properly start quickening it to one word). And you won't find a freeway in Montreal but an "auto-route"... yes a road for a car. Go figure that one out!?!

The boss told me I may not get my raise... some bureaucratic reason, I may start looking for another job soon. I should phone mom today and say hi.

Bombing run

Well my schedule's changed... kinda last minute, I now work every weeknight and have weekends off. My cooking class is pretty much cancelled. I didn't go last time cause I wanted to meet Wendy but that didn't proceed along the proper parameters. Apparently, I should see this last minute change as a promotion cause I got a raise as well and the boss thinks I speak enough french to deal with the french-speaking customers on my own. I don't really like this new change but I didn't really say anything cause I didn't want to start an argument, maybe if I work slower, I'll get my old shifts back. It worked in Afghanistan....

Here I was in a plane (an aircraft, if you want to be technical), anyways this plane was for a bombing run and I didn't want to go out into the field.... I prefered to stay at the "office" in Pakistan where it was a bit safer.... at least no one would hunt you down while on a mission. Here I am preparing the packages to be launched out, I had attended the briefing and watched where the target was going to be. Some village with lots of children, I was told. Seemed like a sensible target. They had to be shown the error in their position against us Americans. We were there to get rid of the Taliban and this village was neutral and may help the Taliban hide in their village. So we'd prevent that from happening.

Now I didn't work any slower and I did my duty as best I could, after all I was doing something right, I wasn't holding a rifle against any of them. I just threw up all over the packages about to be dropped.... we had to clean it up as quickly as we could cause we were approaching the village very quickly.... I wasn't invited on a bombing run after that incident. The mess was cleaned up, but there was still a smell. When the packages were dropped onto the village, the pamphlets with the images explaining we were only after the Taliban and the foodstuff and medicine to show our good faith.... had a strange smell of vomit.... I'll never know if my airsickness caused the village to hesitate or not in their final decision, but at least in the end they welcomed some of our special forces to set up some surveillance post on condition they receive more medicine and food that didn't smell like yak-breath.

I felt comfortable working in Psy-ops, I actually drew some of those images... but still, the military life is not for me. Too aggressive.

Oh Susannah...

Well I emailed Susie and she answered me back and told me how to hook up an instant messenger service on the computer. Apparently I had neglected to tell her what my new email address was when I first moved and she thought that I was cross at her for some reason so she allowed me my space.

She asked me if I had heard from mom or from "dad"?!? I was shocked, he had always wanted us to call him Colonel. Susie said "tough, he'll have to deal with it or else I'll grab him and give him a big hug and destroy his male gendered unfeeling military-created cowpoke up a horse's behind" I'm still shocked she said that.... then she said she was more a man than him to call him "dad".... Susie ranted about how grand-dad, the Captain, had defied his father, the General, by being part of the Air Force when it first became established while the General (great-grand-dad if you're as confused as me about my family ancestry) believed the Sword family must stay in the Army because of tradition (there's that ugly word again).

Is that what radical feminism teaches? Defy the Colonel by calling him "dad" and hug him when he starts getting mad at such a sign of disrespect? Maybe Susie's right, she did convince the Colonel (with mom and Sal joining in the family revolt) to let me avoid the Air Force by just being part of the Air Force reserves and if there was a war, I'd only do one tour of duty and then could retire. Afghanistan happened and I did my time and am now a retired Lieutenant living in Montreal.... Susie was always the strongest one in the family. And because I was in Montreal and that Susie writes in some magazine, I ended up meeting Wendy.

I told Susie about Wendy and what she said about my initials. Susie sent her smily face and the usual "lol" and told me that Sal and her both had the same middle name (I never knew.... never thought to ask, I mean it was on their birth registration (Wendy calls it a "birth certificate" as if one can get certified for being born.... must be a Canadian joke or something) anyway it was never used). Susie and Sally both have Amanda as a middle name.... yes that would be S.A.S. no wonder they've been strong and I being S.I.S. was always soft.... It was in our name. Susie told me she'd forward my hello to mom and the Colonel.... but that she'd call him "dad" nonetheless.

She's my hero.

Shooting deer with my canon

Wendy didn't show up, she had phoned and left me a message just after I left to meet her at the club. One of her friends was brought to the hospital for food poisoning and she was staying with her. I thought she had just brought my hopes up to make fun of me like so many in my hometown had done to me as I grew up. At least her message helps me out from thinking the whole world is like my hometown.

Well I stayed at the club and while I was waiting I was noticing this guy scoping out some girls much like me when I went out "shooting deer with my canon". The Colonel didn't like me pursuing "girlie" activities so I'd tell him that I was going out to shoot with my canon and he was proud of me on those occasions. "You'll be a man yet, and then maybe even a soldier", he'd proudly acclaim while showing me his best form of affection: his arm on my shoulder, then he'd dismiss me and ignore me until my next outing with my canon. Well this particular outing that I remember, I had spotted the beautiful deer with her young (double bonus). I saw them downhill from me and judged the wind to make sure I wouldn't be upwind (much like this guy at the club watching his woman prey and smelling himself to make sure he had his cologne on, he put some more on himself). Just like I'd position myself to be downwind so the deer couldn't smell my bad human smell. I had to move down towards a stream where I saw the deer slowly heading toward while keeping her eye on her young. (just like this guy at the club moving towards the bar that he saw his woman prey looking in her purse as she moved towards the bar)

I'm in position near the stream pointing my canon as the deer approach me unaware of my impending shot, the mother and her young. (The guy is awaiting at the bar as his woman prey approaches with her purse...... Suddenly he says hello) CLICK, I shoot.

My mom taught me to appreciate art and I always showed her my photos that I took as she showed me her paintings, Susie and Sally were never really that interested. Susie was into the military fitness that the Colonel had tried to impose on us and Sally was always reading religious literature (well Mom did read that stuff too but not as often as Sally). It was mom that bought me my canon camera, secretly of course, she had seen me taking out books from the school library on photography (something else for the schoolkids to make fun of me)

Well this guy at the bar seemed to be getting along with his new friend, I could never be that forward. At the time I just hated Wendy for not being there with me like I saw those two together enjoying each other's company. So I came back to my apartment and got her message, maybe I'll phone her tommorrow and ask how her friend is doing.

W.O.W. what a contrast to yesterday

She came back during my shift!!!!!! HEEHAW!!!

Her name is... get this: Wendy Olivia Winthorpe, I wouldn't have noticed how the initials spell out but she pointed it out. I had been thinking of her ever since she came by about two weeks ago on Saturday. She asked me out on a date.... I was not sure what to say, my heart was pounding, she seems so confident in herself and I was afraid I'd just faint or babble incoherently. She continued and told me where and when.... its tonight at 10 o'clock at some local dance club.... she gave me the address, its in my wallet. She seemed amused at my initials and thought that my middle name with the initials made me cuter. My middle name is Ives, means archer. Wendy says S.I.S. is better than S.S.

She said interesting things about politics, Fascism is the dog that bites the hand that feeds it claiming its the juiciest morsel.

Communism is the dog that eats the food from the hands properly but denies the existence of its feeder.

Democracy is the dog that discusses with itself whether or not it should eat and the merits of eating, then disagrees with itself citing several contradictory reasons, and then finally accepts to eat after its too weak to argue with itself.

She is fully WOW to me. I'll be having a great time tonight!

Frank--->apology?

I am upset at Susannah, that's what I call Susie when I get angry at her. She doesn't email me or phone me or whatever but emails others about me. The football jock who untied me and tried to make a pass at me cause he thought I was gay was in love with my sister Susie, I mean Susannah. Being gay in that town meant you had to keep a low profile, apparently Susannah helped him come out of the closet recently and admit his choice openly. Rumor had it that Frank (that's his name... the one who untied me and stroked my hair) followed Susannah to Los Angeles. NO HE DID NOT. He's in Montreal. In contact with my sister. Still loves her but now as a sister he tells me. Yup that's right, the cotton-pickin' cowpoke has been told where I work. He shows up y'see and introduces me to his boyfriend (nice guy by the looks of it... deserves better than Frank) Some chinese guy from Japan(more on him later) Frank comes in with an awkward smile and chats with me about old times and how immature he was and how he'd like to apologize for following the crowd and all that stuff. I was being polite and smiled and told him it was nothing, if I was gay, I would've been honored to come out of the closet and be with him and show how stupid the town was. I felt like hitting him, the military taught me how to channel my anger but I guess I left that in Afghanistan after the war.

Then I started to ignore him and just spoke to the chinese guy. I wanted Frank to know I wasn't concerned at all about his actions. The chinese guy told me he had a similar family of military service, his ancestors had protected the islands of Japan from chinese people in Korea and chinese people led by Ghengis Khan(I thought he was from India or Russia) the Mongols I think they were called (maybe they did look chinese... hard to say they all look the same to me). Then the chinese guy told me how his family had invaded real chinese people from China and how he didn't agree with all that and how different chinese people didn't like other types of chinese people. I told him that I didn't agree with what the U.S. did when they attacked the chinese in Vietnam. That seemed to bother him, he said that they were "Vietnamese".... sure whatever, I don't know about the "proper" tribe names of all the different chinese people. Then Frank started explaining how we were really not well educated in our hometown about the matters of the world.... Why did he have to interfere with our conversation? Anyways after work I came straight to my apartment to write this down.... it helped to calm me down.

What will my last shift of the week be like?

A visit from Sal!!!

Sally visited me at work yesterday.... it wasn't busy cause here in Canada its Thanksgiving Monday. She knew where to find me because Susie told her.... Susie knew because of her "feminist" spies who watch over me.... Ah my sisters always protecting me from life's problems as best they can. Sal had special permission to come to Montreal and visit me. The nunnery can sometimes be as strict as the military Sal assures me, but its all for the good cause of helping people. She completely surprised me! I was stocking up the fridge with bottled water and she came up behind me in her nun's clothing and said "hi Lieutenant!".... that's a familiar voice and sure enough Sally's grin and her eyes beaming at me. Heehaw that was great. The boss was there and gave me an hour off to go to a local coffee shop. He's a good boss, goes the extra mile, reminds me of one of my bunkmates in Psy-ops in Afghanistan.

Sally was wondering if Susie's "friends" were converting me to attend their meetings.... I said no they just found me nice, and I was kind of interested in one of them... the same one I had seen who got all excited when I told her my name.... (I forgot to ask her name and hadn't seen her since)... maybe she wasn't even part of the same group of friends. Sal just smiled as I relayed the news: "You're attracted to that girl, well I'll pray that the two of you are happy" she'd tell me, then she'd add: "just make sure she's catholic."

I had a lot of fun catching up but she had to go, I'd have to email Susie soon.... maybe she knew the name of that girl...

Traditions

Its my day off and I just came back from a cooking class, learning about Italian cooking... I used to burn water but now I'm learning how to cook.... I fried eggs last week!!! Heehaw that was fun. There was some guy there that winked at me.... why do people assume I'm gay just because I'm in a cooking class and that I am graceful and dainty as Susie describes me. When I was in my hometown, high-school jocks would tie me up and have me watch porn on tv.... their idea of a joke. Sometimes they'd leave me there while they went off drinking the latest batch of moonshine. When I was alone watching the porn (I hated it at first but eventually just grew to accept the images which were neat... the women were beautiful and the men were bigger than me) then there would be one of the star football players coming in and turning off the screen and asking me for a kiss. "What the fuck do you want?" I'd ask, not believing my ears. He'd be nicer to me when we were alone and ask again while stroking my hair with his hands and apologizing for the inconvenience of being in this position.... "its tradition, you know." I'd tell him I wasn't gay and he'd laugh and untie me and let me go and say I was in the closet, but it was ok.... he'd wait.... Every year during my high school days it was the same....

Military training for an officer: more porn for me, being tied up making sure I was a man.... they measured my hard-on to make sure I was straight. Then the drill sergeant would bring me to his office and claim he knew I was faking and offering to bring me to some gay bar as his date in the next town. Again I said I was straight, he said to me: "the military has its traditions but if you come out of the closet maybe we can change Washington's mind for our cause"
I admit, I may not be very masculine and I may even like what girls "traditionally" like but I still find girls beautiful and guys uninteresting.... traditions are very strict; if you don't follow the traditional male formula, then you must be gay.... maybe that's why that guy in cooking class winked at me.... I guess even gays can assume, at least this one isn't tying me up or tries to intimidate me by rank.

Traditions... why have them at all?

Celebrity?

I worked last Saturday and met someone interesting, she was dressed in baggy clothes and we chitchatted while I was preparing magazine bundles to be sent back to the publishers. She asked me what my name was and I told her, then she got all excited and asked me if I had a sister who wrote in some feminist magazine that she was just about to buy.... I gulped and said yeah, that's prob'ly her.

Sunday happened and I was visited by a dozen ladies from Simone de Beauvoir Institute from one of the universities. It seems Susie has been putting up the family's experiences as examples in some of her articles. So here I am at work and these nice ladies, one had a deeper voice but lots of makeup while the others looked all different one from another but no makeup and they all tell me how they are happy to have met me and if there's anything they can do to help... they will.

People I don't know seem to know me but unlike my hometown, they seem to think I'm cool here in Montreal. Heehaw.

Establishing myself

Well here I am, writing to this blog. Its a Friday night and I'm at home doing this. Heehaw! Well I've been in Montreal for a few months now and have been working at some magazine store near one of the universities. Four universities! Wow. I'm working early tommorrow morning so I shouldn't be out and about. I'm a red-blooded American from Arkansas living in Canada and loving the experience. My hometown is not at all important cause I'm glad to be away, y'see I'm from a backwards town, they haven't seen anything this bright blue globe in space has to offer and I never felt accepted there. My name is Sean, pronounced Shawn, now I have to tell ya this cause in the town I'm from, every teacher calling out the roll call would say:"Scene? is there a Scene Sword here?" That's how much they know about the world. I escaped from there by having had to submit to the Afghanistan war as an Air Force officer. I did my time and "retired" as a Lieutenant and left my mom and the Colonel for Montreal before the Colonel could change his mind and either force me back into the Force (pun intended) or convince his "other sons" to pressure me back.

He called them his other sons cause he didn't think I acted like what a real son would act like and they were all gung-ho for anything military. The Colonel and mom had Susannah first and she grew up to move off to Los Angeles to follow her radical feminist friends and change the world. Then came Sally, she grew up and then moved to New York to join an Irish nunnery.... Mom's Irish which is where my name came from when I, the third child but 1st and only son, was born. The Colonel wanted me to follow the multi-genrational family tradition and be a career officer. Well I am gone now from such two-dimensional constraints and am here in Montreal! HEEHAW!!!

University Project

This is an attempt at creating a character for a university class. Who knows how far it will go.